Mistress of Fear
by Unassailable Heart
Summary: The Mad Hatter and the Riddler go looking in the Scarecrows luggage. What they find is... unexpected.


**Just to clarify, I myself am female. And Jonathan is totally in denial.**

 **~Heart**

"What are you doing?" asked the Mad Hatter, aghast.

"I'm just looking…" said the Riddler, unzipping the Scarecrow's suitcase.

"He's going to kill us again! Put that back!" said Jervis. Edward ignored him and rooted around in the suitcase, pulling out various things and examining them then tossing them away. He reached to the very bottom, under some clothes, and-

"Whoa," gasped Edward.

"Um," coughed Jervis.

Edward held up the corset, fishnet gloves, and frilly white skirt he had found in the bottom of the suitcase. "So this is what Jonathan's been doing in his time off…."

"I don't- I don't understand," said Jervis, holding up a scarecrow mask with long, stringy, straw hair.

"I never would have pegged the Master of Fear as a cross-dresser!" cackled Edward, laying the girly Scarecrow costume out on the floor. "This is so going on the internet!"

Jervis reached over and yanked the cell phone out of Edwards's hand. "No! We can't ever let Jonathan know we know! He'll string us up and gas us and kill us slowly using all of our fears against us!"

Edward grabbed his phone back. "Nah, Jonathan wouldn't do that."

Jervis pointed at the Scarecrow mask on the floor. "It isn't exactly Jonathan I'm worried about!"

"Oh. Yes, you may be right. Here, help me put all this stuff back!" Edward said, grabbing the skirt and mask and tossing them into the suitcase.

"Ahem."

Jervis froze with the fishnet gloves in his hands. "Oooh, Jonathan. Fancy seeing you here…"

Jonathan leaned forward. "This is my space. And those are my things you have."

Edward tossed the corset aside. "I knew it! I knew these were yours- urk!"

The Scarecrow had stepped forward and seized Edward around this neck. " _Those were for Becky, you pathetic imbecile_."

"I- ak- I didn't know!"

Jervis backed up; not wanting to risk running past the Scarecrow to get to the door. "J-Jonathan, he really didn't-"

Scarecrow dropped Edward to loom over Jervis. "Dr. Crane isn't here right now, but if you'd like to make an appointment, Scarecrow can arrange one," he hissed softly, reaching into his pocket for a syringe full of orange liquid.

"Hehe, I think I'll wait," Jervis said, taking a step backwards, and bumped a coat rack over, which fell onto a shelf, knocking over all of Jonathans psychology books. Right onto Scarecrow's head. He went down like the proverbial ton of bricks.

Jervis picked up _The Conscious Mind._ "Well. That's ironic."

Edward picked himself off of the floor. "Well this was a mistake."

"I could have told you that. Oh wait, I did!" Jervis snapped.

Edward shrugged. "Who do you think Becky is?"

Jonathan twitched and groaned. "Oww…"

Jervis walked over. "Jonathan? Are you alright?"

Jonathan sat up and glared at them. "I hate you two. I really do."

"Sure you do," said Edward. "Who's Becky?"

Jonathan sniffed. "I don't believe I owe you any explanation."

Jervis crossed his arms. "You tried to choke Edward and almost injected me with fear toxin! I think the least you could do is give us an explanation," he pointed one finger in the air. "That's logic."

Jonathan sighed. "Becky is- was, a girl I was pursuing."

"You had a girlfriend?" Edward asked, disbelieving.

"No, he was probably, chasing her around to test her fears or something," suggested Jervis.

"I was not chasing her around for goodness sakes! I wanted her to become my mistress of fear. The costume was for her. Unfortunately, she refused my offer."

Edward looked over at the corset. "Gosh, I can't imagine why."

"Why didn't you just kidnap her?" Jervis asked.

"That not how you get girls!" said Edward.

"How would you know? Last time Catwoman tried to talk to you, you puked!"

"I had the flu! And I was under a lot of stress! The Bat was watching me. I didn't want him to think I was trying to steal his girl," Edward explained.

"Nygma, no man would ever look at you and think you had the slightest chance of stealing his girl," Jonathan said.

"Hey!"

"I think we should go have a cup of tea, and forget about girls for the time being," said Jervis firmly.

Edward nodded. "Good idea."

"Females are only really important biologically anyways," said Jonathan, walking out of his room and turning off the light.


End file.
